Don’t Piss Up My Leg And Tell Me It’s Raining!

There are some that wear rose tinted glasses. Those for whom we should never say a critical word. I have some sympathy for that viewpoint. When I go to work I don’t have thousands of people watching me; people with pause/rewind/play buttons on my life. But then, I have a mundane life. I don’t get paid hundreds of thousands of pounds. I don’t represent something that people have been supporting for decades. I don’t rely on people spending huge sums of money supporting my employment. So, yes, if my money supports you, if you represent something I stand for, then, in my view, I’m permitted to comment on your performance.

I have no doubts I will be heavily criticised for taking a negative view in this blog. “Back the team” is the call. Trust me, I back the team. I’ve backed them all over Europe and will gladly be in Toulouse backing them. But something is very wrong at the heart of our club. “In Ackers we trust”…..etc etc!! This is his 3rd Season, we should be singing by now! We should be winning by now.

I’m told it’s a game of fine margins. Not for some it’s not. Not for those easing away from us in the table. I’m told that the 9 games we’ve lost were close games. If so they are close enough that we should have won them. We were using that excuse 3 and 4 seasons ago.

On the 19th of October Sale missed a kick and lost their first Prem game of the season to an underwhelming Gloucester side. Had that kick sailed over Gloucester would be looking at 1 win in 11 games in all competitions, but, fortunately, we’re looking at 2 wins in 11. Feel free to blame the conditions but both teams in the games were playing in them.

Of course, there is that fantastic win against Wasps to cling onto but those that are not blind will recognise that the score line flattered us, with breakout tries, not much from set piece or phase play. And let’s be honest, Wasps have leaked an average of 3 tries per game this season with the 2nd worse points difference.

Against Quins, in my view, we played the best we have played this season. We strung together some excellent phase play. And yes we came close. But we lost. Again. My view, which is worth very little, is that Twelvetrees should be starting each week with Atkinson. They proved themselves an excellent pairing last season and I’m not sure why that has changed. That way we have a nailed on kicker on the pitch from the outset. Harris hasn’t added value (I’m not saying he’s bad, understand, just not better than 36) ……and in my opinion we would have had five more points on Sunday. And, of course, a win.

I write this piece from a strange position. At the Q&A in Montpelier I asked about Tom Marshall’s future at the club. The immediate response was that he would be getting more game time now he was back from injury etc etc. That wasn’t the question of course so I fired back, pushing “So he’ll be with us next season?” I confess, I’m a huge admirer of Tom’s and think he’s been superb for us this season. “Ah, well”, came the response, “family, etc etc”. On leaving the venue I shook JA’s hand and pushed again and said “So Tom won’t be with us next season then?”. Ackers talked about Tom’s wife not being settled etc etc…..I love his “etc etcs”.

I’m not going to reveal sources but I can assure you this was bullshit of the highest order. There have been no discussions, no negotiations, no communications with Tom. And where the f**k this fantasy about his wife came from I can only guess…….but it would be a good guess based on where I know bullshit has come from before.

I have personal knowledge of others having left when not wanting to but feeling pushed rather than jumping. I know others have just been out & out lied to. There is a single name that repeats time and again when difficulties are talked about. When cohesiveness, or more importantly, barriers to cohesiveness, are discussed. And, no, it’s not our coach.

And here’s where it all gets a bit bitty, a jigsaw coming together………

So at the moment we’re looking at Balmain, Marshall, Morgan & Slater out of contract. Hohneck & Rapava-Ruskin new contracts at £300k but barely impress at this level, we barely have a Hooker worth the title (although having one jumper against Toulouse gave them all the information they required, so I don’t blame the hooker there and Gleave wasn’t too chronic in his short time at The Stoop). And our lineout was much improved v Quins (but then it couldn’t have been much worse).

JA stated clearly at the Q&A in Montpelier that had we beaten Toulouse he would have put out a stronger team…….so he expected to lose and was concentrating on the Prem. He talked of rotation and of course we need to blood players, rotate, keep guys match fit……etc etc. And of course we need to do that.

And Cips isn’t having the season he had last season. Some of that sublime magic has gone, hopefully to reappear.

And Twelvetrees is looking out of sorts when he does get game time, but I’m guessing his motivation has taken a hit.

And the handling errors, oh my, those constant bloody handling errors! But I’m not blaming individual players.

So the sum of the parts is what? There is some good stuff. We currently sit in 7th (thanks to Sarries, not 8th). We still have the best defensive record in the Prem with 6 against. We’re equal 4th with Chiefs on “Tries For” with 12. But it has to be said the majority of those tries have been lucky; they have been breakaways rather than steady, phase play wins. Thank god for Simpson & Marshall this season (scored 9 of our 12 tries in the Prem).

But, we are 2 from 11 and it shouldn’t be like this. Successful teams, all types of teams, including in business, have a high level of cohesiveness. You see this in teams such as New Zealand and Saracens. They both measure high for team cohesion. It’s almost as though there is a single entity on the pitch and there is a very low error rate. The teams are together for long periods with very little adjustment or change and they are motivated to remain together. I thought we were beginning to see this with Gloucester, and we did, glimpses last season. But even with those that are making the team on a regular basis at the moment, how motivated are they? If Marshall is not being spoken to and coaches are not being honest to fans about him how much longer can he “let his talking be done on the pitch” before he’s totally de-motivated? With Simpson signing an extension and Heinz returning soon, with Chapman chomping at the bit surely news of Braley leaving has to be close to the mark because a message has been sent to him; you’re at best 3rd choice. Hardly acceptable for an international? That message was clearly sent to, arguably, our best LH prop last season, as well as others. And how must 36 feel after such a storming season? Discontent quickly spreads.

Everything I’ve seen and everything I’ve heard has pointed to a single individual causing problems rather than creating solutions. He’s causing division rather than cohesion and I believe the whole set up would be better off without him. I believe the coaching staff and players would be more cohesive and far stronger as a team, as a unit. Less divided. And results would come.

Ultimately, you have to add something positive to your team, you have to bring value, and there is only one person who I can’t see what it is that is positive that he brings, but I can see plenty of negative stuff. 

David Humphreys, you are the weakest link, goodbye.

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